All Folked Up

by The Tractorgrease Folk

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about

Recorded at Tractorgrease Studio

credits

released July 1, 2011

all songs written by Jeff Bonner

except * written by Jeff Bonner and Ridley Bent

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all rights reserved

about

The Tractorgrease Folk Chilliwack, British Columbia

The Tractorgrease Folk are all about fun zippy tunes with a focus on humour and satire. It's Dr. Hook meets The Barenaked Ladies. Frontman Jeff Bonner has assembled a cast of musicians that frequent his studio. The songs call out for a certain sound , and the more musicians that appear on this community project the better. It's the Folk that hang around here that makes it The Tractorgrease Folk. ... more

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Track Name: Bottom of the Sea
I never knew someone like her
sweet sweet lines on her for sure
you transformed my world blew me away
with all hopes gone astray we'll sail away

I never knew someone like her
a long lost treasure washed ashore
you adorned my world blue skies today
with all hopes gone astray we'll sail away

i don't even know if I could ever live a day without you
i don't even know if I would ever survive a day without you
but I know that everything I own is on my boat

and we're headin out to see

I never knew someone like her
we sailed away our sights obscured
then the storm it came
and blew us all away
with all hopes gone astray we'll drift away

I never lost someone like her
her hull resting on the ocean floor
then the mourning came and I'd have to say
with all hopes gone astray I'll drift away

i don't even know if I could ever live a day without you
i don't even know if I would ever survive a day without you
but I know that everything I own is on my boat

at the Bottom of the Sea
Track Name: Jah Weed
It's unbelievable and not at all like alcohol
Won't see me scrap or brawl 'cause Jah Weed come from above

It's unbelievable the cigarettes they go and sell
all laced with chemicals , push that poison and go to hell

What comes from the earth belongs to the earth
Why don't they make it legal
stand up and shout and never put it out
nearly everyone I know they all like to toke
I'm not a criminal I'm just an average Joe

It's unbelievable they're pushin drugs at the hospital
they create this corporate hell
just to raise some capital

smokin supersonic chemochronic hyroponic
this kinda weed don't make me angry when I'm on it
cause it soothes me it grooves me
like floatin through the green hills of BC
you say this Bud is for you well this bud is for me...................Jah Weed
Track Name: Bad Day
I woke up to my alarm clock buzzing
it was 4am and my vision was a little fuzzy
i read a note my girlfriend left me
she said "I'm leaving you and so you don't forget me
I phoned the police about your hydroponics
I phoned your mom and let her know you are a chronic
Let's just say that she likes me better
Just thought I'd mention that in this letter"

I'm having a very very bad day
I suggest that you stay outta my way
I'm having a very very bad day
But I'm OK.......

On my way to work I caused a fender bender
it was just my luck the other driver was a member
of the local chapter of the kickin my ass club
he said "I'll feed you this beatin just so you don't forget me"
Then I showed up late for an important meeting
showed up with my suit torn and my head bleeding
and my boss said "who do you think you are?
You're fired punk, leave the keys to the company car"


I'm having a very very bad day
I suggest that you stay outta my way
I'm having a very very bad day
But I'm OK.......

So walked away from this dismal morning
the sun was shining and a new day was dawning
I was singin this song in my head
and then I realized every day alive is much better than dead.


I'm having a very very bad day
I suggest that you stay outta my way
I'm having a very very bad day
But I'm OK.......
Track Name: Wounded Ear
Wounded Ear

I hit the ice with a blackened eye it was the first game of the season
A few shots on net I was feelin fine, first shift saw me cruisin’

On the ice again ready to score soft passes i was feedin
got a stick in the head I couldn’t play no more
I was off the ice.................I was bleedin

Start of the game too near
“You need stitches” said my dear
Pass me that can of beer , I just lost half my ear

All sewn up but not for long 2nd game of the season
As I streak into the offensive zone down the wing see me speedin

A pass from our “D” had flown too high the play he was misreadin’
Hit me in the mouth as I glided by, yet again I was bleeding

Start of the game too near
“You need stitches” said my dear
“This one’s lookin quite severe” even worse than my wounded ear

A few days off back at it again the wounds they were still healing
I got a call from Hope I say I’m in black cloud on the horizon

and in the finals I met one tough guy butt end to my mouth left me reeling
lost my teeth and i can’t deny it’s been one hell of a season

Start of the game too near
“You need stitches” said my dear
“This one’s lookin quite severe” even worse than my wounded ear

Start of the game too near
Aagh fuck my biggest fear
far worse than the wounded ear........my front teeth just disappeared
Track Name: Toxic Bagel
Toxic Bagel

Are You Ready? Ready and Able
WIlling, Able, Ready, Steady and Stable

You can’t stop it
it’s been enabled
like lightning in a bottle of optic cables

Ya gotta get on up x 3
to get down with the Toxic Bagel

It might seem crazy
but never fatal
come alive and move to the groove of the Toxic Bagel

Ya can’t fight it
a real distraction
a rhythmic figment of your imagination

Ya gotta get on up x 3
to get down with the Toxic Bagel

Not everyone is doing it and that just makes me sad
all those other dance moves are just a passing fad
I never liked the Macarena
the Jitterbug is past it’s prime
Bye Bye to Mash Potato, Toxic Bagel now’s the time...............

Are You Ready? Ready and Able
WIlling, Able, Ready, Steady and Stable

Well let’s flaunt it
Shake the navel
Go with the flow and the glow of the Toxic Bagel

Ya gotta get on up x 3
to get down with the Toxic Bagel
Track Name: Garage Sailin'
I hope to find some records I hope to find them soon
I hope to find the first edition of the dark side of the moon
but I only found some Playboys from 1968
the girls they were plumper then but boy did they look great

We're Sailin' ......................... Garage Sailin'

To get a neon beer sign well that would be a find
but at 200 dollars I gotta draw the line
I'd give a dollar for that 8 track it's a bat right outta hell
it's been around awhile with that mouldy mildew smell

We're Sailin' ............................Garage Sailin'

I hope to find Atari and that Space Invaders game
Yars Revenge , Pitfall and Frogger
cause the new vids aren't the same
but I only found a Hohner and it's in the key of C
I guess I'll get a little help from good ole JMB

We're Sailin ............................Garage Sailin'

Sunday morning wake up always been a bake up
change in my pocket I ain't lookin for my maker
big money fortune teller take it to the bank
tell her that I'm sailin' with my best friend Frank

We're Sailin' ........................Garage Sailin'
Track Name: Ron Jeremy
I need your arms around me and I need to feel your touch
but the way your eyes are lookin at me I shouldn't expect too much
I was outta town with the band and late in coming home
then I realized the door was closed and you were not alone

I take heed in what I'm seeing here and I hope it doesn't suck
a delayed surprise she's cooking for me, well could it be my luck
she said just settle down and take my hand you haven't been around
then I perk my ears up detective style and try to hear some sounds

chorus

Rocky has his boxing gloves
James Bond was well equiped
Dirty Harry has a pistol
Indiana has a whip
MacGyver had a swiss army knife
Knight Rider had Kit
Better watch out for me I got a GI Joe Kung Fu Grip

An alarming sound around me a belt buckle and a zipper stuck
then I begin to realize who might just own that truck
sittin in the driveway parked right next to mine
a yellow Chev with 35's and a decal on it 69

my observations had me fuming, I'm gonna get that schmuck
so I bodychecked the door but I hurt my shoulder man aww fuck
and I heard him inside stirring makin whimpy sounds
so I called him out to be a man and go a couple rounds

chorus

so the door flew open and knocked me down
and much to my surprise
I got 2 black eyes from a pretty blonde in a domanatrix disguise
so sorry to intrude and I gave a great big grin
if it's ok with you and my wife do you mind if I join in

chorus

Now you see I'm a happy man I'm Ron Jeremy between the hips.............
Track Name: The Ballad of Old Red Hare
When I first met Red he wasn't red at all
seemed everyone knew him by name
he's that guy in the back keepin the beat at every single jam

No matter who got up with talent or not
Red just kept good times
never hear him speak he'd just keep the beat at every single jam

Let's drink the first one it won't be the last one
a toast to our good friend Red Hare
soft spoken cerebral a Ryder Lake regal
we won't hear congas no more.......... from our good friend Red Hare

He was a quiet man but he said alot
kept close to him all of his cards
when he did pipe up his wit would trump
all aces with so few words

When his battery was fading no chance of saving
a Red Hare bash one last time
he made our lives richer and painted some pictures
memories more fine than his wine

Let's drink the first one it won't be the last one
a toast to our good friend Red Hare
soft spoken cerebral a Ryder Lake regal
we won't hear congas no more..........

When I first met Red he wasn't red at all
time had made him grey
but that name just stuck I'll consider it luck
to meet him in those final days

Let's drink the first one it won't be the last one
a toast to our good friend Red Hare
soft spoken cerebral a Ryder Lake regal
we won't hear congas no more.......... from our good friend Red Hare
Track Name: Wet Wood
Wet wood wouldn't burn so go unless you got some paper and some gasoline.
It gets good now that winter is over with the river, this old guitar and some beans

Jammin by the riverside Gettin high

I wouldn't think about it twice if I saw you lyin naked by the sweet firelight
It gets good now that winter is over with the river this old guitar and some beans

Jammin by the riverside Gettin high

Oh my god I think I'm gonna sneeze I've been inhaling tractorgrease and refried dreams
It gets good now that winter is over this river this old guitar and some beans

Jammin by the riverside Gettin high

Wet wood doesn't burn so good unless you got some paper and some gasoline
It gets good now that winter is over the river this old guitar and some beans
Track Name: Stoned and Leavin'
well I went to see some friends of mine down on Victoria Drive
and I knew that they were home cause they were hangin out outside
and the song that they were singin I didn't know cause it wasn't mine
so I rolled one up and stayed for awhile, he's never on time

chorus

now I'm stoned stoned and leavin
I believe I like this feelin
now he's alone
I'm alone and thinkin that I gotta get home to see my sweet thing

I started headin to the Rime it's an eatery to dine on Commercial Drive
and I knew that I should phone say I'm, late but I'm alive
then I feel this thirsty hunger but I didn't have a dime
so I rolled one up and stayed for awhile, he's never on time

chorus

an idea came to mind I'll take this guitar of mine I'll earn that dime
sing a song one that I know and I can tell her that I tried
and the song that I was singin the Sublime country kind
made me roll one up and stay for awhile, he's never on time

chorus

now with my future undefined I shook my head and my spine to realign
put away the homegrown and let this feelin subside
but when I finally talked to my sweet thing she kinda gave me a sign
so I rolled one up stayed for awhile and went and got some wine

She said you're stoned and now I'm leavin
find someone else to call your sweet thing
now I'm alone, I'm alone and drinkin
but I got some wine to help my healin